This isn't 'Nam. This is golf. There are rules. Just a different set we abide by.
- Showing up an hour before your tee time to warm-up is forbidden. And ridiculous.
- Stay hydrated. Interpret that how you wish.
- We believe in de-formalizing golf but please stay dressed.
- Hit when ready. "Honors" are for jerks.
- Maximum of two practice swings per shot. Make haste!
- Never say "nice ball". Ever. Why would you compliment a golf ball? Exactly.
- Absolutely no golf-speak unless you like being pretentious AF.
- Smile. This is golf. It's merely a game. Chances are you suck so have fun.
- The playlist is vital. Music is democratic. Involve others. Keep the tunes going.
- Play nice. No one cares if you hit a bad shot, except you. Complaining makes you seem like a crazy person. You're not crazy, are you?
That covers it. For now. If the above offends or disgusts you, we mockingly apologize.